Posted in childing, Inspiration, meow

Letting go

Working mothers are bound by curse to an eternal world of self pity and guilt. No one can save us when we decide to just go plop into that ocean of loathing; not even Mitch Buchannon.

Today, I had to leave for work after three full days(though most parts of it went in blowing two different noses and reading up about Mucokinetics) of staying at home with Meow.

Her eureka moment of today being Momma’s work day had apparently occured when she spotted me in a neatly pressed kurta instead of the smelly night dress.

When I reached out for my packed bag on the stairs, she was sitting beside it and gave me that look which should ideally have had me texting my manager a dramatic “I quit.” like Anna Kendrick in “Up In the Air” and taking the next flight to Bali with her in tow for a long and peaceful vacation. If only my life was not the equivalent of a fourier transform on a fractional differential equation!

She pleaded. “Mummy. No offi. Peeech.”

I insisted that I’ll have to go to office or that we will not be able to afford any more new dresses or those five blue baloons I promised. She replied in a squeaky voice with tears down her eyes, “Dress vena, baloon vena.” (I don’t want them.) “Peech mummy. No offi.”

What should I do ?

I sat down and asked her to stop crying and be brave, to which she hurriedly wiped tears off her cheeks like an underpaid maid mopping the floor. We sat for some more time.

Then, out of the blue, she told me, “Mummy go offi. Meow wait.” (Go to office I will wait till you come back.)

I can tell that she did not agree for the fear of not getting a new dress or the baloons; but some random action in her brain made her understand that she’ll have to let go of momma for now. She is two and a half and still has a long string of events in life waiting to test her mental fortitude; yet this will forever be my best memory of how naturally resilient the mind of a child her age can be.







Posted in childing, parenting

Childing, Parenting and Dictating

Childing is when your toddler tries to doodle on the laptop screen assuming it would respond to touches like the Ipad.

Parenting in my opinion is to doodle along with her on the laptop screen and create an imaginary painting; not telling her that the screen is unresponsive – she will learn that herself. When she learns that, the doodling will stop automatically.

Asking her to take her to stop doodling without giving her a reason is dictating.

Sometimes it is okay to dictate. For example: When you are done doing a hundred such imaginary paintings and she is still not bored of it; at this point you might want to use a little dictating and get her a cheap third hand laptop that does not run.

Remember, dictating moderately and at the right times is the key to parenting(as well as to writing, governing, diplomacy and a dozen other radical things that change the world).

The more confident a dictator you are , the less you will be considered a dictator by your child. She will worship you as the almighty who can silence her at times for no apparent reason.

Go ahead, try some.



Posted in childing, meow

Neigh Patchface

Neigh the horse fractured her leg while entertaining a (huge) bunch of dimwits at the race track. Her master got it fixed at the nearest hospital and was anxious to make Neigh race again as quickly as possible for his fortune at the race track would be at stake otherwise.

Poor Neigh wanted to escape from his clutches and so managed to leave the stable at fall of dusk with the help of Nina the bull dog. Once in the streets, Neigh went in search of a place to spend the night. It was cold, dark and windy; all signs of an impending storm and Neigh hated rains.

A few minutes passed and Neigh spotted a dim light at a distance where a lonely house stood. The sign in front of the house read “Dr. Jolly’s Homeopathy Clinic”. The house also had a stable where another horse like Neigh stood sleeping.

The door opened even before Neigh knocked and in there was a tiny man with a sharp nose. He was busy singing a jolly tune, mixing a green potion and afterwards sprinkled them on small, white mustard sized balls. He greeted Neigh without turning back and a genie offered her some warm horse gram.

The doctor was very friendly towards Neigh and suggested that she spend a few nights at the house until she healed. Neigh was delighted and thanked the doctor for his kindness. She then went to the stable, sat beside the standing horse and slept soundly through the stormy night.

In the morning, Neigh’s stable mate Nathan, woke her up and took her around the garden where they spoke about so many things from Napoleonic cavalry to modern equestrian sports. Later in the day, Neigh’s fracture caused her moan in pain and the doctor, with his never fading smile, gave her some potion to ease the pain.


Nathan and Neigh became great friends over the next few days. One morning when Neigh asked him what he had been doing before he came to stay with the doctor, Nathan revealed a secret that changed Neigh’s life forever.

Nathan had been a lazy, sleepy, peasant who was once down with an unknown fever that lasted for months. He visited Dr. Jolly for treatment and learnt of the latter’s magical skills. Since he wanted to stay lazy, sleep as he pleases even while standing and do nothing for the rest of his life, Dr. Jolly turned him into a horse.

Neigh was gobsmacked. She went to the Dr. Jolly and asked him for a favour. She explained to him how she had always wanted to be a unicorn and not just any plain horse with a shabby face who was treated badly. “A unicorn will be treated like a princess.”, Neigh dreamily spoke to Dr. Jolly.

Dr. Jolly being the nice bloke he is, promptly turned her into a plush unicorn, wrapped her as a gift and placed her on a two year old’s birthday table.

Let us call the birthday girl Meow. Unfortunately for Neigh, Meow was having a bad stint of constipation and was moody on her birthday. As much as she would have loved to build a castle for Neigh, her neurons went astray due to the constipation and the very first thing she did with neigh was to pull apart that adorable horn from her face.

After two days, Meow’s constipation was gone and she did build a castle for the horn less, patch faced Neigh. They are bosom buddies now.




Posted in childing, meow

A little knowledge about “twinkle stars”

Did you know that there is a  “twinkle star” in almost all pages of a magazine or a newspaper? Small or large; in pink, white, black or any such color. I did not know that either, until recently Meow pointed it out.

While all I can see in the pages is only the celebrity, the writings, an advertisement or a bunch of photographs, the only thing Meow sees are the twinkle stars. They are all over in fact; behind the celebrity on the background screen, at the edges of  the articles, on corners of the advertisements – everywhere. Try it for yourself when you pick up a magazine next time. You will never be able to un-see it.

It gives me something to ponder about the quests we have in life; we are always looking for something that is right in front of our eyes; yet we choose to ignore it due to the overwhelming amount of knowledge(read noise) around.

We only focus our attention on things we know and what we know & choose to know accumulates over time making us ignore/forget what we were looking for in the first place, much like the answer 42 from Hitch hiker’s guide to the galaxy.

For now, Meow only knows about “twinkle stars” and I am happy for her.


Posted in childing, fairy

Einstein and Tinker Bell

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” – Albert Einstein

Momma took this quote rather seriously and has been showing me Tinker Bell ever since I began to understand the concept of flying. She also has many other fairy tales lined up; like the one in which a pumpkin turns into a coach, and the one where a girl sleeps all the time and there was also a vague mention of another girl with a red hood.

Momma’s frenzy doesn’t end here. She thinks of herself as a this radical, unbiased, post-modern parent and so, also plays movies that have these cute one eyed monsters, ogres, dragons, zoo animals and some very clever penguins, to ensure I don’t grow up to be Taylor Swift 2.0.

But I have a strong feeling that she is actually watching her favorite movies under the banner of making me intelligent. She is so engrossed in it that she does not even pay attention when I sit like a confused pup through five minutes of continuous dialogue.

Either way, thanks to Einstein and my quasi radical Momma, I have on-demand movie screenings at home; when I feel like drinking milk or refusing medicine. There is a different demand when I feel like going to bed. I am positive she has already whined about it here.

I was meaning to ask you, has anyone ever quoted something in similar lines about chocolates? Do bring that to my Momma’s notice.